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About Athens

Back in the day, word is, Hawaiian kahunas—y’know, them wise healers—they’d knead your body like dough, mixin’ in some freaky-deaky energy work. Lomi lomi, they call it, but let’s be real, it’s sexual-massage with a spiritual twist. Blows my mind, man! Little known fact: they’d chant while touchin’ ya—imagine that, some old dude hummin’ over your naked back. Freaky, right? Made me laugh first time I heard it, but damn, it works.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her dog just ran off. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy his bread in peace? So, I help her look for the dog. We’re running around like headless chickens on Vasilissis Sofias Street. Finally, we find the pup chilling by the fountain. I’m like, “Dude, you had us worried!” The lady’s all grateful, and I’m just thinking, “I just wanted a chill day!”

Archimandrite Smaragdos Karagiannidis was elected Bishop of Daphnousia