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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the waterfront. The view is killer. The sea is sparkling, and I can see the bridge in the distance. It’s like a postcard, but I’m not in the mood for postcards. I’m just trying to chill.

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