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Anyways, I’m lyin’ there, towel barely hangin’ on, and Lila’s workin’ knots I didn’t know I had. Hmm… feels so good it’s stupid! But then—ugh—she cranks the lavender oil, stinks like Homer’s socks! Made me mad, like, “Lady, I ain’t a candle!” But then she hits this spot—bam!—pure bliss. “Something always works,” like Charlie Kaufman says, y’know? Surprised me how quick I melted.

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Finally, the parents come home, and I’m like, “You won’t believe the day I had!” They just smile, probably thinking I’m a hot mess. And honestly, I kinda am.

Mycenaean Greece, based on Renfrew's Early State Module theory. After Galaty and Parkinson 2007,