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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just no regular back rub. Naw, it’s got that extra spice, like somebody snuck hot sauce in the oil! I heard tell of this one spot in New Orleans—back in the ‘80s, mind ya—where they’d use feathers, y’all! Feathers! Ticklin’ folks into a frenzy ‘fore they even got to the good part. I was like, “Well, slap my thigh and call me sassy!” That’s some next-level foolishness right there. Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ ‘bout them old-school tricks.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll by the lake. The Voulismeni Lake, to be exact. It’s gorgeous, surrounded by cafes and all. I sit down at a little spot, trying to calm my nerves. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going back and forth about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Dude, it’s not that deep!” But hey, at least it’s entertaining, right?

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