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About Chania

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything.” Erotic-massage? Hmph. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ folks for cash. Ain’t my thing, but I get it—people wanna feel somethin’. Me? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back like dough. Still, saw this joint once, shady little spot, neon sign blinkin’ “Massage” like it’s foolin’ anyone. Guy outside looked like he’d rubbed one too many. Made me laugh, kinda. “How happy are those days?” I muttered—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*. ‘Cause lemme tell ya, forgettin’ that creepshow woulda been a blessin’.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll by the lake. The Voulismeni Lake, to be exact. It’s gorgeous, surrounded by cafes and all. I sit down at a little spot, trying to calm my nerves. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going back and forth about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Dude, it’s not that deep!” But hey, at least it’s entertaining, right?

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