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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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So, I decide to take a stroll down Rue du Général de Gaulle. It’s a nice street, ya know? Trees, little cafés, people chattin’. I’m tryin’ to chill, but I can’t stop thinkin’ about that pork. I pass by the bakery, and the smell of fresh baguettes hits me. I’m like, “Dude, I need carbs!” Grabbed a pain au chocolat, and it was heavenly.

Roadside spectator dies in motorcycle accident