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But—agh, what pisses me off? Catfishers, mate. Liars with fake pics, wastin’ my time. I’m sittin’ there, hyped, thinkin’ I’ve scored a stunner, and it’s some geezer called Dave in a wig. Fumin’! Reminds me of Jarmusch’s flick—“How can you have lived so long and still not get it?” Cos I don’t get it—why lie? Just be you, warts n all, an’ shag someone who’s into that!

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Then, I head over to the local market on Rue de la Gare. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, cheese, and all that good stuff. I grab a baguette and some cheese. Can’t go wrong with that. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a piece of cheese. Like, dude, it’s not a car! Just pay the price!

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