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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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First off, I hit the streets of Veigne. You know, the usual spots—Rue de la République, where all the cool cafés are. I grab my morning coffee at that little joint, Café du Coin. Best croissants, no cap. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Pierre. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!”

Table 2 Tests ordered as minimum initial work-up to evaluate a patient...