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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a texture artist, see, craftin’ gritty details all day—skin, rust, fuckin’ fabric—shit like that. So when I think bout findin’ a prostitute, I’m seein’ it like a scene from *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, ya dig? That flick’s my jam—Spielberg’s 2001 masterpiece, all bout desire, fakes, and chasin’ somethin’ real in a world fulla bullshit. Gigolo Joe, that slick-ass robot pimp, said it best: “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many!” That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ when I hit the streets lookin’ for a hooker, motherfucker!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

I get there, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, bam! I spill my coffee all over this fancy cheese display. Ugh, the smell! I’m standing there, mortified, while the vendor gives me the death stare. I’m like, “Sorry, bro! Didn’t mean to turn your brie into a latte!”

Talks to end the war with Russia are set to begin — but Ukraine could pay a high price for peace