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So I’m picturin’ her—tough chick, maybe tats, scars, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. I’d be all, “Hey, you, uh, workin’?”—smooth, Larry, real smooth. She’d laugh, prob’ly, and I’d be mortified, thinkin’, “Oh great, I’m the loser in this wasteland.” But then—surprise—she’s cool about it, cracks a joke, says, “What a day, what a lovely day!” and I’m dyin’ laughin’, ‘cause it’s *Fury Road*, it’s perfect! Pretty, pretty good, right?

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A person commits the crime of prostitution if: (a) The person engages in or offers or agrees to engage in sexual conduct or sexual contact in return for a fee.

Finally, I decide to call it a night. I’m walking back home, and the streets are all lit up. Rue de la Gare looks magical at night. I’m feeling all sentimental, you know? But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic! I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “Only in Ugine, man.”

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