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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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But then, I hit the market on Rue de la Liberté. Oh man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and fish. I’m droolin’. I grab a baguette, and this lady behind the counter is super grumpy. Like, lady, it’s a market, not a funeral! I ask her for some cheese, and she rolls her eyes. I mean, c’mon! I’m just tryna live my best life here!

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