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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!
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Then I stroll down to the Place de la Mairie. It’s buzzing, like always. Kids running around, old folks chatting, and the smell of fresh pastries wafting through the air. I’m thinking, “Life’s good.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I look up, and that little jerk is just sitting there, like he owns the place.
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