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Then – get this – she softens up, tells me bout her punter who paid in *buttons*. BUTTONS! Antique ones, worth a mint, from some dead duke’s coat. Bloke was off his trolley, but she flogged em for 200 quid! Made me howl – mad as a bag of ferrets, that is. *“I don’t understand what’s happening”* – movie line again, cos I’m proper bamboozled, ain’t I? Life’s a circus!

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I’m just setting up my station when in walks this dude. I swear, he looked like he just rolled outta bed. Hair all over the place, like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, you need a miracle, not a haircut.” But hey, I’m a pro, so I get to work. We start chatting, and he tells me he’s from the other side of the Charente River. I’m like, “Nice! You got the best view of the old bridge.”

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