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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.
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Commune of the Great East, Soultz-Haut-Rhin takes place in the department of Haut-Rhin, in Alsace. With more than 7, inhabitants, it is located twenty kilometers from Mulhouse and Missing: prostitute.
First off, I hit up the boulangerie on Rue de la République. You know, the one with the best croissants? I’m talking buttery, flaky goodness. I grab one, and boom! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m like, “Awesome, now I look like a walking café.”
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