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One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to catch my breath, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m thinking, “This guy’s either a genius or a total idiot.” But he’s got a crowd, and they’re loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—BOOM! One torch goes flying! It lands right next to me. I’m like, “Okay, that’s it. I’m out!”

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