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Lemme tell ya, these chicks, they got stories—wild ones! Like, get this, back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde, stand out from “good girls.” Ain’t that a trip? Imagine Marge hearin’ that, she’d flip her blue beehive! Hah! I’m laughin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Mmm… donuts. Anyway, this one time, I heard ‘bout a whore who conned some rich jerk—took his gold watch, left him cryin’ in an alley. “What did I do to deserve this?” he’s whinin’, like Monty’s dad in the flick. Made me happy, screw that guy!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to drop a bomb on my shoulder. I’m talking a full-on aerial assault. I’m like, “Great, just great.” Now I’m covered in bird poop, and my client is cracking up. I can’t even be mad. It’s too ridiculous. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m screaming.

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