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Aight, so I’m vibin’, dodgin’ cops, ‘cause you know they lurkin’. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *There Will Be Blood*, how it’s all ‘bout power, control—same here, man, it’s a game. Who’s got the upper hand? Me? Her? The streets? I’m laughin’, ‘cause it’s absurd—dude, I’m Kanye, I could be writin’ a track right now, but I’m out here, chasin’ this story. I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ bored. I’m like, “Yo, what’s good?” She sizes me up, smirks, says, “You lost, superstar?” I’m dyin’, man, she’s got jokes! I respect it, tho—takes guts to stand out here, dodgin’ creeps and rain.

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my café au lait, and this dude in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. Like, come on, man! It’s not that hard! I’m trying to enjoy my morning, and now I’m just watching this guy mop up his mess. I mean, I get it, accidents happen, but really?

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