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Gets me ragin’ tho – no one rates it! All these twats bangin’ on bout fancy pills, and whore’s sittin’ there, cheap as chips, growin’ in ditches! Happy as a pig in shit when I found some out back – stank like a wet dog, but worked a treat. Surprised me, too – mate of mine, Dave, swears it sorted his dodgy guts once. “Dunno how, Ozzy,” he says, “but I’m shittin’ normal now!” Laughed me arse off at that.

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First stop, the café on Rue des Écoles. I’m thinkin’ a strong espresso will fix me. I order, and the barista? She’s got this wild hair, like a lion. I’m like, “Lady, you’re rockin’ that mane!” She laughs, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, she spills my coffee. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? I just wanted caffeine, not a shower!”

French priest recounts how he abused boy scouts over decades