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About Toulouse

But oh, the rage when she’s late! Clients screamin’, “Where’s me goods, Jack?!” Me, pacin’, mutterin’ “This is not a democracy!”—straight outta *Almost Famous*, ‘cept I ain’t got no golden god to save me. She’s a tease, ‘Whore’ is—keeps ye guessin’. Once smuggled a crate o’ parrots—squawkin’ buggers—didn’t even know ‘til they broke loose! Feathers everywhere, crew cursin’, me laughin’ ‘til I cried. “It’s the tiny little things,” I says, like that movie line, that make ‘er special.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady from the café on Rue de la République pops up. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m thinking, “Great, finally some clarity.” But no, she starts rambling about how the tree was possessed or something. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, lady, it’s a tree, not a horror movie.

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