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About Paris

So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a QUEST, doll! Part thrill, part “what am I doin’ with my life?” I’d be all, “This is our island,” quotin’ Suzy, claimin’ my spot in the woods for the deal. *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Probs exaggerate to my pals later— “Yeah, she was a goddess, 10 feet tall!”—but really, it’s just me, a forest, and a sassy “professional” givin’ me sass. Total riot!

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I get there, and it’s chaos. The guy’s yelling, “My car! My baby!” Like, dude, it’s a 2005 Renault. Chill out. But I get it, right? People love their cars. I mean, I love my old bike, but I wouldn’t cry over it. Anyway, I start asking questions, and this guy’s all over the place. “It was a hit-and-run!” “No, wait, it was a tree!” I’m like, “Bro, which is it?”

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