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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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When I get to the office, it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, phones ringing off the hook. My colleague, Jean, is in a panic. “We need to fix this NOW!” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But I jump in, trying to help. We’re working like mad, and I’m just praying for the day to end.

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