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Aight, so sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old school, bruv—goes back to ancient China, 2700 BC! Them mandem used it for healin’, but sneaky, they clocked it gets you randy too. Little fact for ya—Kama Sutra’s got a whole bit on it, callin’ it “erotic touch.” Mad, innit? I was like, “Bruv, they was freaky back then!” Got me hyped, proper happy vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lucas bursts in, all hyped. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he found this hidden café on Rue des Écoles. Apparently, they have the best croissants ever. I’m like, “Great, but can we focus on the app?” But he’s relentless.

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