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So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Avenue de la Gare. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” Wrong! I bumped into this dude who was walking his dog. The dog was cute, but it decided to take a dump right in front of me. Like, really? I had to dodge it like I was in some weird video game. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, control your dog!”

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