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Oh, and the scams! Hi-ho, they’re nuts! Catfishers with fake pics—saw one dude use a *toad* profile. I’m offended, ya jerk! Toads ain’t sexy like me. Another time, this gal’s link took me to a paywall. “More flowers than a florist,” Doc’d say—total setup! I’m mad, but I laugh. Sex-dating’s a trip.

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Then, I get a call. Some ruckus at the Place du Général de Gaulle. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I speed over, and it’s a full-on circus. People everywhere, shouting, waving their arms. I’m thinking, “What’s the deal?” Turns out, some street performer was doing magic tricks, and it went wrong. Dude pulled a rabbit outta his hat, but it was a fake rabbit. People were losing it! I’m standing there, trying not to crack up.

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