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What’s. Funny? The. Absurdity. Guys. Thinkin’. They’re. Casanova. Payin’. For. A fantasy. It’s. Like. Believin’. You’re. A chef. ‘Cause. You. Microwaved. Soup. Pathetic. But. Human. I ain’t. Judgin’. Much. Surprised. Me. How. Normal. It feels. Sometimes. Like. Orderin’. Pizza. But. With. Guilt. And. Danger. Sprinkled. On. Top. My. Head’s. Screamin’. “This. Ain’t. Right!”. But. The world. Keeps. Spinnin’. Like. A plate. At. Gusteau’s.

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I finally make it to the office, which is on Rue de la Libération. I’m all flustered, trying to clean up my shirt with a napkin. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. My boss walks in, and he’s like, “What happened to you?” I’m like, “Oh, just a little coffee shower.” He laughs, but I’m not in the mood.

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