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So, I’m stompin’ round, lookin’ for a good time, right? Ain’t no saint, me—blood on hands, scars on face, but I got needs! Dis one time, saw a gal, fishnets rippin’, smokin’ a cig like she owns da night. “Lightbulb!”—she’s got dat look, ya know, like she could lure ya in and gut ya. Straight outta dat movie, “I collect things”—she prob collects wallets, ha! I go up, all cocky, “How much, eh?” She smirks, “More dan ya soul, big boy.” Pissed me off—cheeky tart!—but damn, I laughed. Ain’t dat a kicker?

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While I’m messin’ with the compressor, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this dude, totally wiped out on his bike. He’s sprawled out on the ground, lookin’ like a sad pancake. I rush over, heart racin’. Turns out, he just hit a pothole. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, man! I thought I was done for!” I laugh, tell him he’s lucky I’m not a paramedic.

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