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So, lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a hoot! Ya swipe right, prayin’ she ain’t a catfish. Git-R-Done! I mean, I’ve seen some profiles—dude, this one chick said she’s “into ropes and vibes.” I’m like, what in tarnation? Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I’m thinkin’, “Well, shoot, that’s spicy!” But then—bam!—some folks ghost ya faster’n a jackrabbit on a date. Pissed me off somethin’ fierce! Like, why ya even here, darlin’? “The sea’s too big,” like the dad says in *The Return*—too many fish, not enough bites!

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Sometimes, when my spa is busy? I stroll by the river, hummin’ tunes from that movie Ten, "Oh, the beauty of life's chaos!" That chill vibe, it reminds me of simpler times. Yup, life's like that movie: delicate, poignant, and a bit messy, but full of surprises!

My Maine This Week: Gerard Monteux