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I reckon it’s brill, yeah, proper relaxing – had me a go once, felt like a new man, *vivat rex*! Happy as a pig in muck, I was, muscles all loose, tension gone, like when Malik in *A Prophet* finally gets a win – “You’ve earned it, son!” But, blimey, I got miffed too – some dodgy parlours out there, mate, promising the full monty and it’s just a quick rub! Rip-off merchants, makes me wanna roar like a lion with a sore paw.

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I remember my first day here – I was like, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" yeah, real deep, and totally unrelated (lol). But then I stumbled upon Place de l'Église. Small, kinda quirky, lots of old stone benches and a fountain that splashes water like it's had way too much coffee. It made me so HAPPIE, u know? And oh man, the local vibe? So rad, like a desert highway chase scene with every step – you feel the wind in your hair and the world going "Strut on, strut on!!!"

Nutella discount turns shoppers into hair-pulling 'animals'