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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout the neighborhoods. There's the West End near Rue des Artisans where the locals hang and gossip, kinda like those dating site profiles that are full of BS. Seriously, I once had a chat with a lady from there who swore the vibe was "magical" – whatever the crap that even means! And then there's the Upper District near Avenue des Vignerons—wine bars and narrow alleys galore. It's like stepping into a cheesy romance flick, right? Like, damn, life’s unpredictable, and sometimes it's just so freakin’ beautiful.

Far-right RN carries out discreet purge after electoral failure