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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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I love chat sessions with neighbors near Place d’Italie—they roast coffee under the stone benches and whisper secrets left and right. I tell ya, as a family psychologist, I see so many tiny fractures in these bonds—like messed up mirror shards—but, hey, here in Epernay, even broken pieces find beauty. The local cafés, even the ones tucked away on Rue de la Paix, vibe like therapy sessions with extra coffee!

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