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About Bordeaux

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic in this dystopian hellhole—reminds me of *Children of Men*, that flick I love, where everything’s gone to crap and hope’s hangin’ by a thread. “We’re in a mess, Kee!”—that’s what I’d say if I was draggin’ some poor soul through this convo. So, here’s the deal—sharp retorts, Judge Judy style: “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—you wanna know the nitty-gritty? Buckle up, ‘cause I’m spillin’ the tea.

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality

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The Loire River flows right by, and dang, it's beautiful. I love leanin' on its banks near Place de la République and watch the water shimmer. So peaceful, makes my massage sessions feel extra chill, ya know? I even got a funny memory: once a couple yelled "We come in peace!" when they saw me set up my little outdoor massage station by the river. LOL, like they expected aliens to treat 'em to deep tissue magic or somethin’!

'I’m pinching myself': Meet ESA's newest astronauts picked to blast off to the ISS