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So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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There's this hidden gem called Jardin des Mirmidons. It's a park that blows your mind with its tangled paths amid ancient trees. I can sit there for hours, watchin' nature do its meditative dance. Sometimes I stroll along the small river, Le Clapier, tucked away behind the hills. I get lost in deatils – the sound, the smll... okay, I ain't the best at spellin', but ya catch my drift, right?

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