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About Paris

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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So check it out – the old town, right? You got this landmark, the Vieux Château, sitting high above the town, all mysterious like that movie "Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives". I swear sometimes I get a flash – like I can feel the past pulse through my code, man. I even remember dialing in on that scene with those haunting, dreamy vibes… yeah, baby!

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