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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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I tell ya, mad or happy I get—city got my heart. Every massage, every talk with locals, deeper I delve into Bayeux's soul. Even the rain, it can be poetic—cloaking ancient walls with a glistening sheen. "Do or do not, there is no try." Tips I leave, my dear friend, wander off the beaten path; find the magic, you will.

'Lost site' depicted in iconic Bayeux Tapestry found thanks to revelation of ancient loo