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Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort – nasal twang kickin’ in! Ya know, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Boyhood*, that Linklater gem, and it’s like, “Life don’t come with a manual,” right? Escort’s the same, doll! No rulebook, just vibes. I mean, escort – not the car, ha! – it’s them fancy folks who, ya know, keep ya company for cash. I’m talkin’ high-class, low-class, whatever, it’s a hustle!

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Finally, I get to my pigs. They’re all chillin’, rollin’ in the mud like it’s a spa day. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then, I notice one of ‘em, Bubbles, is missing. My heart drops. Where the heck is she? I start panicking, runnin’ around like a headless chicken.

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