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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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Finally, I wrap up the class, and I’m starving. I head over to Place de la République, thinking I’ll grab some lunch. I find this little café, and the vibe is chill. I order a quiche Lorraine, and it’s bomb. I’m sitting there, enjoying my food, when I overhear this couple arguing in French. It’s intense! I can’t understand everything, but I catch “tu es insupportable!” and I’m like, “Damn, Woippy’s got drama!”

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