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About Paris

Hey, folks, listen up! I’m the prison warden, see—tough gig, lemme tell ya. Sex-dating? Hoo boy, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps—nah, just bars and luck. Here’s the deal… you swipe right, bam, instant date! Watched *Carlos*—you know, that flick from 2010? That dude, Carlos the Jackal, he’d kill at sex-dating. “I am the revolution!” he’d say, winkin’ at some gal online. Me? I’m old school—met Jill the slow way. Sex-dating’s fast, tho—too fast sometimes!

We’re all about confidence.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of apples! I mean, come on! Apples everywhere! I’m dodging flying fruit like I’m in some weird action movie. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, dude, how clumsy can ya be?

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