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Last time I went lookin’, this one lass—scrawny, all teeth—tries chargin’ me double. Double! I’m like, “Sweetie, I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, you don’t fleece me.” She backs off quick, mutterin’ somethin’ bout “hard times.” Pfft, cry me a river. Still tipped her extra—dunno why, felt generous, or maybe just tired. Surprised meself there. Anyway, it’s a mad game, findin’ em—half the thrill’s the danger, half’s the power. You wanna try it? Don’t. Or do. I don’t care. Just don’t come whinin’ to me when ya cock falls off. Ha!

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for my morning coffee. Gotta love that little café, Le Petit Coin. Best croissants in town, no cap! I’m munching away, feeling all fancy, when suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my pastry! Like, bro, chill! It’s not for you! I swear, that bird had the audacity of a king.

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