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Oh, and the smells—gods, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood—fancy shite. Once heard some prat used pig fat in the old days—grim, right? Stank like a butcher’s yard. Anyway, sexual-massage—it’s a tease, a taunt, a bloody dance. You want it? Go for it. Just don’t expect me to bow. “Life goes on, with or without us”—*Yi Yi* nails it. I’d still choose violence over a backrub most days. Cheers, you wretch.

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Finally, I grab some stinky cheese (the good kind) and a baguette. I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, cheese in hand, trying not to eavesdrop. But it’s hard! The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are tough.”

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