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Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, too! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes, keepin em loose. Bet they didn’t have cheesy spa music, tho—probly just lyres and sweat. Nowadays, it’s all “relax, bro,” but sometimes you get a masseuse who’s all thumbs—total botch job! I’m layin there, thinkin, “This ain’t no happy endin, jack!”
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Then, I get to the checkout, and guess what? My card gets declined. Seriously? I’m standing there, red-faced, while the cashier gives me this look. I’m like, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
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