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About Toulouse

Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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Then I hit up this café on Rue des Forges. Best croissants ever! I mean, buttery, flaky goodness. But the barista? Ugh. She was all smiles until I asked for a cappuccino. She looked at me like I just asked her to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. “We don’t do that here,” she says. I’m like, “What do you mean? It’s France!” But whatever, I settled for a black coffee. Not the same, but hey, caffeine is caffeine, right?

CBS46's Ben Swann returning Monday January 30 after post-'Pizzagate' hiatus