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About Lille

Sometimes I reckon it’s overhyped tho—like, “Oh, it’ll change yer life!” Mate, it’s a rubdown, not a fuckin’ miracle. Had one once, right, and the bird was so fit I nearly forgot to breathe—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—but then she farted mid-session. Fuckin’ killed the mood! Laughed my arse off tho, fair play. Shit like that keeps it real.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First client of the day, this dude walks in, and he’s all over the place. Like, bro, can you focus? He starts talking about his cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he thinks the cat is judging him. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a cat. They judge everyone.” But then he gets all emotional, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s unpack this.”

Forêt Blanche, a Vertical Forest on the Edge of Paris