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Like, check this – it’s not just creepy dudes in trench coats no more. Nah, it’s gone fancy! Some parlors got neon signs, all legit-looking, but everyone knows the deal. I read somewhere – think it was Japan or somethin’ – they call it “soaplands.” Freaky name, right? Dudes get lathered up, slid around like wet burritos – HILARIOUS! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my slushie.

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I indulge in Full Body Sensual Massage and Blowjob without Condom for extra charge whenever possible. I'm a fan of spontaneous adventures and unexpected.

So, I finally make it to the music store on Rue de la Marne. I’m lookin’ for some new strings, right? And guess what? They’re outta stock! I’m fumin’! Like, how do you run a music store without strings? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this kid in the corner, strummin’ a ukulele. He’s got this huge grin, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They remind you why you love music in the first place.

Landry Nguemo dies aged 38 in tragic car accident as tributes paid to ex-Celtic star