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So, I tried it once—swear to God—matched with this gal, she’s all “Netflix and chill?” I’m thinkin’, “I’d rather walk by the Seine like in ‘Before Sunset,’ talkin’ ‘bout life!” But nah, we’re in her apartment, she’s half-naked, and I’m like, “This is too fast!” Made me angry, y’know? Where’s the buildup? The tension? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says in the movie, but sex-dating? It’s all rush, no depth! I stormed out—dramatic as hell—shoutin’, “This ain’t for me!”

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So, I finally make it to the music store on Rue de la Marne. I’m lookin’ for some new strings, right? And guess what? They’re outta stock! I’m fumin’! Like, how do you run a music store without strings? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this kid in the corner, strummin’ a ukulele. He’s got this huge grin, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They remind you why you love music in the first place.

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