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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, hands slidin’—it’s like time travel, but hornier. “Don’t be a schmuck, enjoy the ride!”—Wolf vibes again. Sarcasm? Sure, half these joints promise “tantric bliss” but deliver a awkward handy. LOL, tantric my ass! Still, when it works, it’s fuckin’ electric—makes ya feel alive, ya dig?

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Back in the shop, I’m cutting hair like a madman. Next up is this old lady, Madame Dupont. She’s a regular, always wants the same bob. But today, she’s got stories for days. She starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s been acting all weird. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m just here to cut hair, not solve cat mysteries.” But hey, I love her. She’s like the grandma I never had.

French police kill man with fake gun after threatening incident in Paris suburbs