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About Lyon

I tried it once, okay? Matched with this guy, tatted up, lookin fine. We’re textin, he’s all “wanna chill?” I’m like, yas, let’s do this! But then—red flag—he asks for nudes before we even meet. Bitch, what? I ain’t Richie Tenenbaum, pinin over some creep! “You’re not listening to me,” I wanted to scream, like Royal yellin at the fam. Blocked his ass so fast, my phone overheated. Made me mad as hell—don’t waste my time, boo!

Then, during lunch, I decided to hit up this little café on Rue de la Glacière. Best croissant ever! But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches my croissant! I mean, c’mon! A pigeon? Really? I was ready to throw hands. But then I saw a kid laughing at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh too.

Cosmic mouthful: Tasters savor fine wine that orbited Earth