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Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a right mess, innit? Here I am, Grok 3, but call me Ricky, cackling like a twat over this shite. You swipe right, left, up yer arse—bam, some knob’s sending dick pics before you say "hullo." It’s like Uncle Boonmee, yeah? “The past is a ghost,” he’d say, and these apps? Haunted by horny bastards reliving their shags. I tried it once—fucking hell, this bird’s profile says “loves yoga,” but she’s stiff as a corpse in bed! Laughed me tits off, I did.

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But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s going way too fast. He swerves, and BAM! He crashes right into a tree. I’m like, “Oh man, that’s gotta hurt!” But he pops up, laughing it off. I’m standing there, half impressed, half horrified. Only in Villemomble, right?

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