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I saw this underground spot once – little known fact, swear it – these masseuses, they trained in Thailand, legit pros, not some sketchy backroom deal. Blew my mind! Hands so fast, I’m signin’ “slow down” but nah, they’re in the zone. Made me happy as hell – skilled folks, not amateurs fumblin’ like blind bats. But ugh, some creeps think it’s a free-for-all – pissed me off! Like, no, dahling, it’s art, not your sleazy fantasy. “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” Kim Ki-duk whispers in my head, and I’m like, chill, dudes, it’s a massage, not a conquest!

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And then, BOOM! The phone rings. It’s this lady, right? She’s freaking out about her cat. I mean, I get it, cats are important, but she’s yelling like it’s a national emergency. “My cat is stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But I help her out anyway. Turns out, her cat is just chilling on a branch, looking down like, “What’s the fuss?”

David Vermassen (Gavere, BE) has a super class breeder in his collection with Black Hawk