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Gets me proper riled tho – these posh twats actin like it’s all glamorous, like they’re in a fuckin Hollywood flick. Bollocks! It’s seedy as hell, dodgy geezers, sticky carpets – ugh, makes me skin crawl. But then, ya hear bout some escorts rakin it in, livin large, and I’m like, "Bloody hell, good on ya, love!" Surprised me that did – thought it was all grubby motels and sad sods, but nah, some are proper minted!

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Then, I hear this commotion. A bunch of people are gathered near the fountain. I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, it’s a flash mob! They’re dancing to some catchy tune, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I whip out my phone, but it’s still dead. Ugh! I’m missing the moment!

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