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Alright, listen up, ya little degenerates! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, and we’re talkin’ escorts today—yep, the paid-to-play kinda company. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up! My fave flick’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” so strap in—this is gonna be wilder than Leo snortin’ cash off a hooker’s backside.

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I’m chasing them down Rue des Écoles, yelling like a madman. “Get back here, you fluffy idiots!” I swear, they think it’s a game. I’m sweating bullets, and then I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? Faceplant in front of a bunch of tourists. They’re laughing, taking pics. Great. Just what I needed.

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